I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
