We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
