Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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