I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
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