I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
