An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
