Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i just google imaged poop.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
