well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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