? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
did you just send me my own nude
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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