i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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