how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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