So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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