you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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