and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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