Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
