great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
