dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
