Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
