not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
