dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
