what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I am naked and annoyed.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
