Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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