But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
there was a trapeze. enough said
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
