yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
