How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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