Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
