where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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