I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
it was like eating out sand paper
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
