you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
