I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
