are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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