oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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