I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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