You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
