so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
