Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize