Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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