Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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