I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
