My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
