words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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