I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
