WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
