A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
