Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
