i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Randomize
