Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
