Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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