yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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