It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
