umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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