Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
