ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
