Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
